Parent Effectiveness Training

Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) is a parent education program based on the Gordon Model by Thomas Gordon. Gordon taught the first P.E.T. course in 1962 and the courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the United States to teach it in their communities. Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states. On November 1, 1970, Gordon wrote the Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) book. It became a best-seller and was updated in 2000 revised book.

Central to P.E.T. philosophy is how parents can raise children without the use of punitive discipline, which is damaging to the parent, the child, and their relationship. Instead, Gordon advocated a no-lose method of resolving conflicts in which both the parent and the child get their needs met.

Gordon's model upon which the P.E.T. course is based, is a set of concepts and skills for more democratic, collaborative relationships. Core skills are active listening, I-messages, "shifting gears" and "no-lose conflict resolution'. Knowing when to use each skill is facilitated by the Behavior Window, which strives for clarity on "whose problem is this?" Identifying "who owns the problem" is promoted as a big first step in successfully resolving interpersonal conflict.

Gordon Training International, the organization that Gordon founded, has a network of P.E.T. representatives and instructors in 53 countries (as of 2020) who make the course available to the parents of all cultural, racial and religious backgrounds.