Athletico Mince

Athletico Mince is a British comedy podcast hosted by Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson. The series began life as a humorous take on the world of football, including discussions such as whether being gentle in the Premier League makes one a better manager. As the podcast evolved however, the focus of the segments has switched more towards the bizarre, and often true, experiences and encounters of the hosts. Despite the move away from football, there are still a number of features that include personalities within the world of sport such as Steve McClaren, Mark Lawrenson and Peter Beardsley. Other features include Bob’s trips to South Africa, Dom Littlewood and Andy's interactions with Jeremy Corbyn.

The podcast was first released on 8 March 2016. In late 2016 a live version of the show was created and has since been toured around the UK, with a video available online. As of March 2018, the podcast had over 30 million listeners, with over 200,000 per episode.

Since April 2019, the podcast has used Patreon as a platform to introduce the 'Club Parsnips' membership. This allows the audience to pay for the content, if they wish. The benefits include bonus episodes, access to episodes earlier and no advertisements during episodes.

The podcasts include a number of real and fictional characters, voiced by both hosts, in semi-regular sections. Main sections of the podcast include:

• Andy's Intro Sigh
• Barry Homeowner (a character on which Mortimer based his incredibly popular 'Train Guy' Twitter sketches).
• Adrian Lewis and his visits to Slaughters, a restaurant staffed by the waiter, and Ron Craggs
• Dom Littlewood presents Fake or Legit / Who's the Prick? and The Dom Pod
• The Adventures of Mark Lawrenson and Robson Green
• Peter Beardsley and Mrs Beardsley
• An increasingly effeminate Steve McClaren, his best friend Casper the Snake and partner, Fat Lass
• Bob's South African Tales
• Gangs of the EPL featuring Harry Kane and 'Debbie' Alli of 'The White Hearts', with recurring characters Jordan Henderson, Phil Jones, Jamie Vardy, Santi Cazorla, Theo Walcott, Eric Dier, and occasional characters Andy Carroll, Jack Wilshere, Son Heung-Min & Eden Hazard.
• Andy's run-ins with Jeremy Corbyn
• British Managers Lunch Club featuring Sam Allardyce, Tony Pulis, David Moyes, Alan Pardew, Nigel Pearson and more
• Bob's Wife's Questions / Questions from Andy's kids
• Memory Man, where Bob is posed a question from Andy, in which he is asked if he remembers a certain football result/event, later progessing to general knowledge questions. The question is always posed "do you remember...?", to which Bob always answers "yes, I do", insinuating that he has incredible knowledge.
• Sights, Sounds or Songs of Sunderland
• Secret Soccer Superstar - a "former football star" with a Geordie accent who tells slightly absurd stories of his playing days, without letting on his identity
• Kiss the Alderman - stories of Bob's interactions with 'The Alderman', an eccentric character who pursues and tricks Bob into situations in order to receive a kiss from Bob. Other characters in the sketches include the 'Vicar Who Stinks of Bleach', 'Biffy Clyro' (Simon Neil) who is always drawing on himself with pens, & the 'Town Clerk'.
• Observational Comedy
• Vince Parsnips
• Scottish Tales - Bob's 'songs' from a (presumably) remote Scottish island, whose young male residents yearn to escape the rule of the laird of the island and flee to the mainland, drawn in by Timpson's shoe repair and key cutting machines and Costa Coffee shops, with their free WiFi. A repeating theme is that, once the young men finally reach the mainland, they are seduced by a young lady "with plenty tit to spare", which is often a trap by the laird and they are captured and returned to the island, where they face execution by the laird's henchman. Before they are killed however, they die from surprise of the unusual faces of the henchman.
• The Guru
• Bananarama
• Yes/No Behind the Door
• Lenny Biscuits
• The Landlord
• Mick McCarthy
• Roy Hodgson and his Warhammer obsession
• Martin Roberts visits footballers' homes
• Nigel Pearson WAVs
• Crime Files (featuring Neil Hunt, Nonsense Potter)
• The Guru
• Boing, Quack Quack, Oops, Peanuts, Thwack, Crunch, Give Me Just a Little More Time, Boing Boing, Oops, Wooah Yeah, etc. Quiz
• Marlene/Free Sweeties Quiz
• Sean Dyche’s motivational WAVs
• Talksport
• Geordie Heat - a 'Nutflix' documentary about a squad of police officers made up of DC Denise Welch, Chief Inspector Steve Bruce (later replaced by DCI Eddie Howe), DC Jordan Henderson, DI Jonjo Shelvey (who takes on the character of a vampire from Eastern Europe) & DC Carol Beardsley (Peter Beardsley's wife). Each skit consists of the Squad receiving a phone call from 'Mr Sting', in the "massive house" with various trivial problems for the squad to resolve. Later episodes feature Amanda Staveley who insists on being called 'Amanda Baby'.
• John Omsk, Albanian trance music overlord

Other, less frequent, characters include Dara Ó Briain, Piers Morgan, Gregg Wallace, Alan Brazil, Ian Holloway, Chris Evans, Billy Bragg, Jim White, Joe Swash and Jordan Henderson.

In most cases, each section is self contained. However, on some occasions there have been crossovers within the stories, for example, the Alderman appearing at a Jeremy Corbyn rally and Peter Beardsley featuring in episodes of Gangs of the EPL.