Monster Girl Quest/Funny


General

  • Go read through the Bestiary. Some of the entries are incredibly snarky.
  • The Evaluation Meetings. Ilias begins to snark at your demise at later parts in the game. Sometimes she still snarks at your earlier losses even though you didn't lose then.

Chapter One

  • Just try defying Alice when she first shows up in Luka's house. Not only is Luka a really Bad Liar, but Alice has no qualms about using her Eyes of Obedience to make him obey. Refusing to give her food is the funniest- after being zapped by Alice, Luka becomes so desperate to find food for her (his larder is empty) that he breaks down in hysterical tears and prepares to kill himself so he can serve his body to Alice as food before she hastily stops him!
  • Whenever Alice gets scared by a ghost. Especially when you complete the haunted mansion sidequest which results in the entire nearby town becoming infested with them.
    • Speaking of that sidequest, the way Alice suddenly regains her composure and effortlessly slaps a zombie girl offscreen is something to behold.
  • Near the beginning where it turns out Alice's 500 year old guidebook for Iliasburg is still accurate.
  • Alice starts a fire to bake some potatoes. In a library.
    Alice: Don't worry. These are just the books about Ilias.
    • The fact the fire turns into a Chekhov's Gun just minutes later makes it only funnier.
    • In the same scene, Alice remembering that she really did tell her minions to guard the books in the library, then lying about it anyway because admitting her mistake would be embarrassing.
  • Whenever Alice expresses an interest in something, Luka's first reaction will always be to tell her not to eat it.
    Alice: It smells like a fox in here.
    Luka: What does fox smell like?
    [Alice grins]
    Alice: Thin fried tofu.

Luka: Alice, this pigeon is working hard. Please don't eat it.

  • Anytime Amira the Unfortunate Lamia shows up counts as a CMOF, whether it be her absurd character design, breaking of the fourth wall or her outrageous lies about the supposed misfortune she's found herself in.
  • Learning the meditation skill.
    Alice: It's said that the Fallen Angel Erigora was able to}} immediately heal all his wounds by meditating. It's obviously a fake story, but concentrating your mind is still important.
    Luka: .....
    [Luka quietly meditates]
    [Luka recovers half of his missing health!]
    Luka: It's true! My wounds healed!
    Alice: WHAAAAAT??? Is that even possible? What the hell is wrong with your body?}}
  • Defeating the kitsune...asleep. Similar things happen later, but its so much funnier the first time.
  • The scene at San Irias where Luka meets the Archbishop. He gives a grand speech about how Ilias came to him in a dream and foretold Luka's arrival, and about how he must now go on a long quest to obtain the Goddess Sword needed to defeat the Monster Lord. Just as he's winding down, Alice calmly remarks how stupid it all sounds before grabbing the sword and shattering it into millions of tiny pieces.
  • If you conduct enough Evaluations by repeatedly losing battles, Ilias gets suspicious of Luka's intentions finally punishes him... by giving him a handjob.
  • In a town populated by mermaids and humans, a mermaid girl sings a song of seduction, accidentally causing an old man to become her servant. As he yells out his submission, others take him as an anti-monster terrorist and beat the living crud out of him. You can't help but laugh even if you feel sorry for him.
  • Luka's pitiful attempt at making himself seem like a Badass.
    Luka: I'll need a catchphrase. "Blow Hard, my Wind of Justice!" What do you think, Alice?
  • One of the most hilarious defeats for Luka is the Harpy Twins. They aren't truly twins, as one sister is older, and this is clearly the younger sister's first time preying on a man. She's reluctant, and the older sister has to encourage her that she can do it! It seems just like a young girl being coached by her Cool Big Sis, just not in the typical subject matter.

Chapter Two

  • Many of the side conversations in Grand Noah. Highlights include:
    • A slime girl getting stuck in a drain.
    • The implications of a Milk shop run by a Minotauros.
    • The owner of the Spider Girl Sewing Shop turning out to be a Tarantula, and therefore utterly inept at sewing.
    • Alice attempting to eat the flowers in the Alraune's florist shop.
  • The first time Luka and Alice visit Yamatai, a town where monsters are revered as gods.
    • The locals immediately proclaim Alice to be a new deity... which she uses to extort free soba and riceballs from them.
    • Yamatai is in a crisis as they have to provide yearly human sacrifices to Yamata-no-Orochi. Given the nature of the work, though, the sacrifice is returned unharmed, but very dazed from how Yamata-no-Orochi's had her way with him. The elder elaborates that at first the laziest young man was sent as the sacrifice, but when the rest of the village learned about what is done to sacrifices, the men are all competing in laziness to be the next one and impairing their ability to work in the process.
    • When he substitutes as the sacrifice so he can confront Yamata-no-Orochi, Luka gets ambushed by several armed men who are willing to keep up their village's tradition. Your options are reasoning with them, knocking them out and Death Sword Chaos Star.
  • Luka talks to an old man in Yamatai Village:

Elder: When I was younger, I had an affair with an Ogre Girl. After my wife found out, she looked even scarier than the Ogre Girl did.

  • Sylph continuing to be the Butt Monkey of the four spirits, with Undine encasing her in a bubble of water whenever she gets uppity.
    • And then Salamander sets her on fire.
    • She also kind of goes insane during the Grangold section, when magic starts tampering with her, and Gnome ends up beating her unconscious for it.
  • Not five minutes after the start of the chapter, Alice tries to cook... by attacking the cooking pot. And you get to control her.
  • Luka arrives at Helgondo only to be immediately attacked by a giant monster. Upon defeating it Alice comments that he's become awfully strong to defeat such a monster. Then comes Luka's reaction.
    Luka: W...Wa...Was...WAS THAT PRAISE!?
  • The Running Gag at the Succubus Village where most of the townspeople are failing badly at hiding how much they can't wait for the succubi to attack. Her reaction only gets funnier when one guy doesn't even attempt any pretense.
    • After thwarting the unsealing of Lilith, the residents of Succubus Village present the issue that they will not even have a place to call home. To their rescue come the village men who are willing to cooperate to allow Succubus Village to be their safe haven, willing to dedicate their lives as effective livestock. Luka wordlessly leaves them to their devices.
    • Revisiting the Succubus Village shows the men are still willing to greet travelers, even if their greetings are being strained from how much they're being drained.
  • At the Monster Lord's castle during Luka's fight with Tamamo, Tamamo's attacks are tearing up the building and the other three knights ask her who she thinks is going to fix the damage. Tamamo smiles and says she'll get Luka to fix it once he's her slave.
  • Ilias' reaction when you lose to the Beelzebubs. Given that their H-scene involves mating with a horrific fly monster and having their eggs pumped into Luka's arse, this is totally understandable.
  • Luka meeting the three wise men and thanking Alice that he doesn't need to bother with them, especially when they finally give him the Hero's Proof.
  • When Luka first learns how to properly use Serene Mind, Undine's power, the dragon he's fighting can't even touch him. Eventually, she breathes fire at him, which still doesn't work.

Dragon: Oh, COME ON! How do you cut through fire?

Luka: Wait, I did what? (falls out of Serene Mind in surprise)

Chapter Three

  • To re-contract with the Spirits after he's lost them, Luka needs to have sex with them. To give them some privacy, Alice will slip off elsewhere while venting her jealousy, and after Luka finishes and leaves the area, he'll be clueless to the change in the environment her venting creates.
  • To break the Great Seal of Babylon over Succubus Village that has the men so worked up they jizz at the sight of a woman, Amira shows up to snap the men out of their trance and deprive the seal of its power source. When she finds herself unable to do it alone, she calls for help from her "unfortunate friends" - a small group of monster girls with reversed anatomies just like her.
    • Diamrem, a fish with human legs, ends up suffocating. When Luka and Alice ask of her whereabouts in the epilogue, Amira informs them that she died, and "her soul burns brightly in (their) stomachs." Pyhar becomes suspicious of the sushi they ate.
    • The unfortunate Nekomata is basically a cat in a kimono who doesn't say a word. She's also named "Garf***d".
  • If you die during the fights with Black Alice, the recently-devoured Ilias still appears to conduct Evaluations, only her sprite is censored in mosaic and she brushes it off like it's nothing.
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