Epic Rocking/Quotes

"I don't know about you bastards, but I've grown at least five years fucking older during that song."

"Lest you think that all of the big winners in the Bad Song Survey were lightweight, simpering, and/or pretentious pop songs, please note that there was also a heavy vote for the heavy-metal Iron Butterfly classic, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida". A lot of people wonder what the strange-sounding title of this song means. It means 'This Song Is WAY Too Long.'

I think a number of rock classics fall into this category. For example--and I know I'm going to get into serious trouble with the Led Zeppelin people for this, but I need to get it off my chest--I sincerely believe that "Stairway to Heaven" would be a much better song if they cut maybe 45 minutes out of it. (For example, they don't need the part about "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow.") I also feel this way about "Layla" by Eric Clapton (both versions), "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, "American Pie" by Don McLean, "Taxi" by Harry Chapin, "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procul Harum, "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd, and of course, "Hey Jude" by the Beatles, some of whom are still singing the na-na-na part.

I know these are great rock classics; I'm just saying that after a while they get to be great boring rock classics whose primary musical value seems to be that they give radio DJs time to go to the bathroom."

It's not about showing off how well you can play your instrument--if you want that, you need Power Metal, a genre composed almost entirely of hairspray addicted middle aged men who can't tell their guitars apart from their penises, and masturbate with both constantly.

"Bender, that was the best forty-minute washboard solo I've ever heard. The parts where I was awake blew my mind."

I know this song is twenty minutes long,
I know this song is fucking long!

10 fucking verses. This song has 10 verses.